I asked for it...
Believe it or not I've come a long way since I was in my 30's. When I was a kid, I was a typical messy teenager, when I was in my early 20's I had 3 toddlers under the age of 3 so life was chaos, and as I grew into my late 20's, I had become extremely organized and borderline OCD about having order in the house and being very clean and clutter-free.
Now imagine how my husband felt when he met me and came from the bachelor lifestyle that he was used to. He was never a messy person but his bathroom definitely needed some attention, and keep in mind that he was 29 when we met, I was 38 with 3 grown children. Our lives were polar opposite. Yes, he'd been married before, but again, he was very young when he was first married as well and I'm not saying that those that are young can't be tidy and organized, but generally it comes with age as we care more.
I remember when we moved in together and I was so in love that I didn't care how different we were for most of the time, I remember thinking about how it was cute that he left clothes on the floor and that I was just grateful for him being in my life, period.
Fast forward 8 years, and although I'm so glad that we are still so much like the way we were when we first met, the clothes on the floor stopped getting cute. I don't need a trail of breadcrumbs aka, his clothes, to tell me where he is. How many others of you can relate, on either side, because believe me, I've met a lot of men that are neat freaks and I've met a lot of women that could care less, so this is not a gender thing at all.
I read this interesting article that according to a recent survey of 2,000 Americans conducted by market research company OnePoll and commissioned by sleep research site Sleepopolis. The report, which was highlighted on the TODAY show in 2018, found that people who make their beds tend to be adventurous, confident, sociable and high-maintenance. Meanwhile, people who don’t make their beds tend to be shy, moody, curious and sarcastic. I don't know how much of that I believe at all but it was an interesting take on what making a bed can say about us.
So even though I'm a little OCD and a personal organizer, I've noticed that as I've come into my late 40's, I've relaxed and loosened up when it comes to dishes, laundry, the grandkids coming over, toys being everywhere, etc... but guess what's happening now? I've created a monster with my husband, and I can't be pissed about it, because "I asked for it".
You know when you get out of the honeymoon phase and you start to gain some confidence in the relationship? You start asking that the dishes not be left on the counter, or not to leave the bedroom without making the bed, or to stop spitting on the mirror when you're brushing your teeth, and then you start nagging to the point that they don't want to hear it so they just do it? Ya, well guess what can happen when they've had enough?
Guess what he said to me last week? I walked into the kitchen and put my plate in the sink and as he was sitting at the table, he says "does that belong there"? "rinse it off and put it in the dishwasher". I just about shit... what have I done and who is this man sitting at the table, where is my husband? Of course he laughed right after he said it, we both did, but he was dead serious.
We have a new rule in the house that he does the dishes and the laundry, I do the rest. And no, I did not make these rules up, this was his idea because these are the two things he likes doing, and I am not going to argue! Dishes and laundry are my least favorite! I love to wash things but I hate putting them away. The other rule we have is that the last person out of bed, makes it, and I wasn't kidding when I said, he's really good at making the bed, so much so that we now have to have the tags facing the same way on the pillow shams... oh boy... poor me.
But I have to remember, "I asked for it".
#makingthebed #cleaning #rolesarereversed #relationships #changesasweage #learningtorelax #workingasateam